#594
All right!
Date: 09/19/2001
From: Carmelita9000
The riot's at MSTBlanca, and everybody's invited!
<Lita is in MSTBlanca, kicking tables over, and committing other acts of senseless vandalism. Suddenly, she has an idea. She runs over to the bar, jumps over it, and starts putting bottles of booze into her bag. She is somewhat startled by a voice from behind her.>
Voice: What are you up to, Little Lady?
Lita: Oh! Hi Rick! I and some of my buddies are just trashing the place.
Rick: Are you sure that's a good idea?
Lita: Come on! This bar gets blown up every other week! This had to happen sooner or later.
Rick: True.
Lita: Hey! Do you mind if we take you hostage?
Rick: I don't know... nothing in my job description about...
Lita: Oh, Pleeeeeeaaasssee? It would be really really really helpful.
Rick: I suppose I have no choice, after all, it's not nice to hit a lady.
Lita: Damn straight! <Lita plants the pointy end of her crowbar into the top of the bar, and pulls up a huge chunk of Formica.>
Rick: Why isn't anybody coming in here to stop you people?
Lita: Are you talking about Nabut? Carmelita6969 and a couple of my other clones are keeping him thoroughly occupied. I don't think we'll need to worry about him.
Rimmer: <from an adjoining room, apparently looking for the sarcophagus> And she called *me* a slut!
Lita: Keep focused! PM called you a slut, not me! (well, except for that one time) Hey, Rick, as long as you're our hostage anyway, wanna give me a hand here?
Rick: Probably not, Sweetheart. I work here, you know.
Lita: Aw, come on! If you do, Rimmer might let you touch her ass.
Rick: Are you sure?
Lita: This is Rimmer we're talking about here...
Rimmer: <Still from the other room> HEY!!!
Rick: Say no more! <Rick picks up a barstool and throws it through a window.>
Lita: Great!
<And it is great. I'm thinking we're all going to be able to destroy a lot of property before PM even notices anything. Woo-hoo!>
Lita: PM's going to think twice before he calls *me* fat again!
Rick: Are you going to tie me up?
Lita: Shut up and break some stuff!
*CRASH* *BANG* *KA-BOOM*
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice-Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
is having lots of fun!
#595
Welcome to the MST Gardens!!!
Date: 09/20/2001
From: MickeyTheGardener
It's our grand opening! Free balloons for the kiddies! Take a look at the flowers, and are these not the ripest, reddest tomatoes, non=killer variety, of course, that you've ever seen? And let me direct you to our centerpiece...a hedge sculpture depicting the MST3K theater scene! I, well ok, Ortega and Waldo, have been working on it non stop in preparations for the grand opening. This was such a good idea. Putting this garden in the vacant lot that was right next to (gets worried look on his face)...the...M...S...T.....................Bla...OH #@$*!!! Waldo, Teggy, get the riot gear!!!
Mickey T. Gardener
3rd place Wacky Racer
Time/Space expert
Self appointed president of the I hate Louie the Lilac club
#596
!elloH
Date: 09/20/2001
From: egamI_rorriM
.yb deppots I emit tuoba saw ti thguoht I
!lag fo dnik ym s'ehS .yspyG ekil I detaler TSM siht ekam oT
#597
so what your trying to say is...
Date: 09/20/2001
From: Tork_110
This ticket I bought from PM is no good? Let me at him!!! I want to see women wrestling now!
#598
Are We Looting, Or Just Breakin' Stuff?
Date: 09/20/2001
From: h_wood
Cuz if it's looting, I'll gladly pitch in. If you're just breaking things, I got all that out of my system during the Wacky Race. Either way, have fun kids- and bring a sweater. :)
h_wood
"Are you boys cooking up there?
"No..."
"Are you building an Interocetor?"
"No!"
MST3K:TM
#599
<Toting a huge sledgehammer>
Date: 09/20/2001
From: thedeadoutkast
<smashes up PM cash register. takes all the money>
TDO: destructions fun!
<starts running, then sees PM's glass case of porn>
TDO: Smashy smashy!
<breaks it open and runs off.>
TDO
how was my day?
Oh its not important!
#600
That was pissy!
Date: 09/20/2001
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
I typed a long post but the title was too long so when I hit the back button to fix the title I lost the post!
Here's the synopsis:
Rimmi is breaking stuff at MSTBlanca when she finds a door marked Employees Only. She walks in and it's PM's office. Starts to destroy it when she see a lovely antique sconce that is slightly askew. As she fixes it the wall opens and she finds a private room full of TVs. It looks like PharaohMobius is quite the voyeur! As she leaves she sees a file cabinet and opens a file marked "The Phaphafarrah's Private File of Super Personal Stuff." (Luckily Rimmi can understand hieroglyphics so she knows it must be important.) She opens it and they are pictures of PM in a semi-buff state. Rimmi runs out to tell Lita to bring in Evil Mike and send him out to Ginko's to make mass copies of the naughty pictures.
We will crush PharaohMobius and his evil scheme to get us to wrestle and sell tickets!
#601
So does that make PM...
Date: 09/20/2001
From: h_wood
Billy Baldwin?
And that would make you Sharon Stone, Rimmer? Ooh La La... :)
h_wood
"The bear's having an intervention with Dan Haggerty!"
Magic Voyage of Sinbad
(I can't believe I just referenced Sliver. Excuse me, I need a shower- I suddenly feel unclean...)
#602
I wouldn't shower if I were you h_wood.
Date: 09/20/2001
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
PM had a whole stack of tapes in the corner marked "h_wood showering." There was one marked "h_wood eating cotton candy in a pink Japanese warrior costume while watching Sliver and he thought no one was watching." Care to explain that?
#603
<TDO sneaks up behind Rimmi>
Date: 09/20/2001
From: thedeadoutkast
<Tdo crouches down low and lightly touches Rimmis ass>
TDO: Oh my...
<TDO puts his face on her ass>
TDO: So warm...
so soft...
so plumP!
I MUST HAVE HER!!!
RImmi: You pervert!!! <smacks him with a mallet. Little birds began to fly around his head>
TDO: I dont care, it was heaven!@$@^%#!%&
#604
Um- NO!
Date: 09/20/2001
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
No you didn't TDO. That was my exploding dopplegangor. I keep one incase of such a situation. She'll go off in 3....2...1.... BOOM!!! TDO is blown to smithereens for even attempting to touch the mighty rear of Rimmer.
#605
<the smoke clears...
Date: 09/20/2001
From: thedeadoutkast
<TDO's robot clone lays in the ruins>
Rimmer: ???
<TDO swings in from the ceiling and grabs her.>
TDO: AAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
RIMMer: What the!?
TDO: Now that plump ass is mine! Yaaaaaaaay!!
RImmer: Let me go!
TDO: Ahh quit whinin toots! You'll have fun at my secret underground lab.
<hits a button on his belt and both vanish into thin air>
Will TDO get his hands on Rimmi's sweet behind?
Will MSTblanca be totally trashed?
Will people find out who i am?
TDO: Yeah! who are you?
find out next time...
#606
TDO and Rimmer reappear
Date: 09/20/2001
From: MickeyTheGardener
TDO: Nice place, huh? Big screen tv, two bathrooms, Mickey the Gardener...what the (gets knocked unconcious)
(Mickey starts running his hands over Rimmer's ass)
Rimmer: You to? (Kicks Mickey in the nose)
Mickey: Ow, no. After Steffi (sighs) I don't think I can love again.
Rimmer: I thought you weren't interested.
Mickey: Oh, like I'd admit it to this chump. (kicks TDO while he's down). Anyway, back to your ass. I'm checking for buttons or booby traps, you know this guy. Anyway, come on. (tips over vase, door opens) This leads back to the MST gardens, if there still there.
Rimmer: Thanks for saving me, but....why?
Mickey: No ulterior motive. I just get a kick out of thwarting TDO's schemes.
(Rimmer and Mickey run safely to the gardens, which are on fire, but otherwise, fine)
Mickey T. Gardener
3rd place Wacky Racer
Time/Space Expert
His ass ain't chopped liver
#607
Hey, Rimmer! Come here!
Date: 09/20/2001
From: Carmelita9000
I know you're busy being sexually harassed and stuff, but I wanted to talk to you for a minute.
Rimmer: <Brushes off her overly pushy admirers and re-enters MSTBlanca.> Yeah? What is it?
Lita: You said you had sorta nekkid pictures of PM. I wanna see.
Rimmer: Check 'em out.
Lita: Wow! I knew he was a weird guy, but I never expected a... a... oh wow...
Rimmer: I know!
Lita: That's disgusting!
Rimmer: I *know*!
Lita: Why did he decide to take pictures of *that*?
Rimmer: I don't want to know.
Lita: So, you wanted these reproduced or something?
Rimmer: I was just thinking you could bring Evil Mike in here, and he could...
Lita: Er... Evil Mike can't come. He's busy.
Rimmer: You're just afraid I'll lure him away with my sweet, sweet ass again.
Lita: No! That's not it! He really is busy! He's working on training small animals to help old ladies across the street!
Rimmer: Right...
Lita: At least that's what he said he was training them to do... hmm...
Rimmer: But you see... the thing is...
Lita: We can have Rick, our brand new hostage, do it!
Rimmer: But I wanted Evil Mike to...
Lita: Rick! Do you know where Kinko's is?
Rick: I sure do, Sweetheart. I go there often.
Lita: Great!
Rimmer: We can't trust him!
Lita: Sure we can! Just look at his face!
<Rimmer looks at his face. He grins.>
Rimmer: All right... I guess we can trust him. But I'm keeping some of these... you know.... Just in case.
Lita: Yeah. I get that. Give me some too. You know... for safe keeping.
<Lita, Rimmer, and Rick divide up the pics. Rick takes off with a stack, just raring to make lots and lots of poster sized copies. Lita and Rimmer continue with the fussin' and the fightin' and the rowdyin', and the breakin', and the lootin', and the assaultin' all the pre-verts who try to cop a feel.>
#608
OWWWWW!!! Quit it!!!
Date: 09/21/2001
From: MickeyTheGardener
Mickey: (Lita punches him in the face, and then Rimmer kicks his not exactly chopped liver ass, and then Lita punches him again) I'm not that kind of guy, I swear. Did I try ANYTHING with you when you were in the Big Misunderstood Sex Machine aka the armored car from the beginning of Diabolik which was once a time transport but then it wasn't (sorry, it's been so long. Had to get that out of my system) naked, Lita?
Lita: Well, this is for Ortega! (smashes an empty bottle of booze over Mickey's head) And this is for Toblerone! (hits Mickey with another empty bottle) And this is for-oh wait, still a little left in this one-there, this is for THE CRACK ABOUT MY TOMATOES!!! (Hits Mickey with a bar stool)
Rimmer: And this is for the mime! (Kicks Mickey's ass again)
Mickey: Okay, sorry, I'll make sure in the next wacky race, if there's a mime, I won't type it out so you're scared, only annoyed.
Rimmer: SHUT UP!!! (kicks Mickey's ass again)
Lita: Rimmer, it's okay, I think he's dead now. (both leave)
Mickey: (Gets up, coughing, picking glass out of his hair)
I was just being a gentleman. Ow, there goes my pancreas.
Mickey T. Gardener
3rd place Wacky Racer
Time?Space Expert
Got beat up by girls, what a pansy
#609
What can I say, that movie was on
Date: 09/21/2001
From: h_wood
all the damn time like 6 years ago. It's basically the same thing they're doing with Money Train right now on HBO/Cinemax. I can't turn on the TV anymore without seeing Snipes & Harrelson in a subway station on some channel. However, how someone has footage of me watching Sliver is beyond me- that we'll have to discover some other time. As for the outfit... well... uh, they're working wonders with special effects nowadays, aren't they? Yeah, that's the ticket... :)
While we're talking movies though, for my actual night plans, I went to go see Made. It was a pretty good film, and anyone who liked Swingers will enjoy it immensely. Jon Favreau & Vince Vaughn are like Tracy & Hepburn for the Gen X Crowd, plus P Diddy doesn't make a fool of himself.
h_wood
First Loser of Wacky Race Mach II
"Joel, What Movie is this?"
"It's either Santa Claus vs the Martians or Roadhouse."
#610
Thanks Lita. I was just about to say....
Date: 09/21/2001
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
I ain't jivin' with the "fondling Rimmer's ass" and "having my way with her" scenario. An rp no still means no as far as I'm concerned to in my scenario TDO is actually off in the corner having hallucinations while Lita and I continue to trash MSTBlanca. Thank you for saving me Mickey but I doubt I'd let you touch my ass for booby traps even in an emergency. I don't even let my ass disciple ManMan touch it, just gaze upon it lovingly from time to time. My rescue was sweet and I won't forget it but now Lita and I are getting the naughty pictures copied at Kinko's (I swear I meant Kinko's not Ginko's). Rick knows to make several BAJILLION copies right?
#611
meanwhile...
Date: 09/21/2001
From: Tork_110
<Tork overheard the conversation between Lita, Rimmer, and h_wood. He is now looking through the tapes.>
Tork: Come on. Come on! Where is it?! Wait. "Lita puts Rimmer in headlock." This is it! I didn't tape the race and Espn 6 censored the nudity but now I have the best part of the wacky races.
<Tork is now trying to sneak out>
#612
TDO: At last Rimmi, we are alone...
Date: 09/21/2001
From: thedeadoutkast
... and will be mine.
<TDO, playing with TDO and A_Judas_Rimmer action figures and imitates there voices>
AJR figure: No! I hate you! I hate you!
<tdo pulls out a MickeyTheGardner figure>
MTG figure: Hold it right there, buddy!
TDO: MICKEY!
MTG figure: That's right! Hi there honey!<kisses AJR figure>
TDO: So! You thought you could best me? Well take THIS!
<knocks down MTG figure>
MTG: figure: AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!
<TDO pulls out Lita9000 and h_wood figures>
Hwood figure: Hey, what you do to our friend?
TDO: Same thing im gonna do to you wood boy! <knocks H_wood figure down>
Hwood figure: oooooooowwwieee
TDO: And you too zombie girl! <knock Lita figure down>
Lita figure: Ooooohh! Noooo!!
TDO: Now rimmi! at last we are alone.
Rimmi figure: no no! i hate you! i hate you! yet... i do find you strangly attractive...
TDO: Oh course you do. women are always attracted to evil and callousness. And i have both and you know it! NOW KISS ME!
Rimmi: NO!! no! no!
<Tdd starts making the two figures kiss>
NON N OO yes no no yes no @!@#Q^ NO @%!@% !@NO YES @%Q!% YES
RIMMI: oooo!1 oooo! Your hair is so blue.
<krankor burst into the room>
KRANK: TDO!
<TDO quickly sweeps up his dolls>
TDO: WHAT!?
KRANKOR: your wanted in the lab sir!
TDO: knock on my door! Knock next time!... Did you see anyhthing?
Krank: No sir. I didnt see you playing with your dolls again!
TDO: good <krank exits> ... hey wait a minute?
#613
Good save TDO.
Date: 09/21/2001
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
It was stolen but good. Thank you. My ass is so divine that anyone who touches it without permission gets charcoaled before their grubby little fingers come within a foot of it. (Hey, I didn't make up the rules I just enjoy them.)
<Rimmi shows Lita the secret room that Pharaoh has in back.>
Rim: See? He's a sicko! I'm not even asking why he has a tub full of Fresca and used tissues. I don't want to know why he saranwrapped the toilet seat of his own personal private toilet. I am not even curious as to why he has play-dough figures of you playing backgammon with Teddy Roosevelt. Pharaoh isn't right in the head.
#614
The rescue? (cough) Don't mention it
Date: 09/21/2001
From: MickeyTheGardener
Now, if you don't mind (cough, cough), I need to get my brain back in my skull. I won't ever touch your ass again, but you might want to inspect yourself tonight before you go to bed tonight. You know, for bombs, poison, time transports, that kind of thing. And also check for ticks. I really need to get back to dying now.
Mickey T. Gardener
3rd place Wacky Racer
Time/Space Expert
Later on today, will write "I will not touch Rimmer's ass" on the chalkboard 100 times.
Oh, to make this MST3K related, also check for giant spiders, deadly manti, and nanites.
#615
Zombie Girl???
Date: 09/21/2001
From: Carmelita9000
Rimmer: Maybe TDO means of Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up fame. Just as long as he's not touching my ass, right?
Lita: I guess. <Just for the hell of it, Lita rips up a section of extremely expensive looking carpeting.> Hey! There's a loose floorboard under here!
Rimmer: See what's under it.
Lita: Sure thing. I'll just use my crowbar to pull this part up here and…. YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!
Rimmer: What!? What is it!?
Lita: IT'S A HUMAN HEART!!!
Rimmer: Oh! That's sick!
Rick: Actually, it's not a *human* heart.
Rimmer: You're back, are you? Did you get those copies?
<Rick points to a red wagon that he's pulling behind him. It's filled with lots and lots and lots of icky pictures of PM.>
Rick: I would have gotten more, but all the printers at Kinko's ran out of ink. And the employees were so disgusted by the pictures, they told me to leave and never come back.
Lita: So… if this isn't a human heart, what kind of heart is it? And why does Phahafafo have it hidden under his floor?
Rick: It's the heart of an anteater.
Lita: Oh, that's just horrible!
Rick: Why?
Rimmer: <narrows her eyes> Lita, are you some kind of anteater loving freak?
Lita: No. NO!!! I hate anteaters just as much as any red-blooded American woman naturally would! I spit on anteaters! *p-tooie*
Rimmer: Good.
Lita: Why does PM have an icky, disgusting, and universally shunned anteater heart under his floor?
Rick: Just in case his own heart gives out. He can have it replaced with this one.
Lita: <drops the floorboard back over the hole.> Uuugh… an anteater heart in a human body…. *shudder*
Rimmer: I don't see how that could even work.
Rick: He hasn't tried it yet.
Lita: This is getting really disturbing.
<Lita walks back out of the secret room, and sees Tork with a big grin tiptoeing. He is moving very slowly so as not to make a sound, and is very obviously trying to sneak out of the bar as inconspicuously as possible, thus becoming the most conspicuous thing there.>
Lita: Hey, what are you doing?
<Tork tries to run, but Lita chases and tackles him. Sitting on his chest so he can't get away, Lita wrestles the tape out from under his arm and reads the title.>
Lita: "Lita puts Rimmer in headlock." Hey! I was naked when this happened!
Tork: <starts giggling uncontrollably>
Lita: I didn't give anybody permission to tape this! Where did you get this?
Tork: Ok. *snort* That's about the dumbest question I've heard all day.
Lita: Shut up! <Lita gets up and puts the tape in her bag.> I'm going back in there to make sure there aren't any more of these.
Rimmer: Hey Lita! I found one of you and Evil Mike all naked on top of Spidey! And I'm keeping it!
Lita: HEY!
<Lita rushes back into the secret room to get the tape back from Rimmer.>
#616
Spiraling Down The Pop-Culture Vortex
Date: 09/21/2001
From: h_wood
And now I'm Barf. Great. :)
Well, at least we're talkin' about a good movie again.
One more note about "Made": For those of you still sensitive about last weeks attacks, there are a few unfortunate jokes made on an airplane in the movie. Obviously they weren't meant to be malicious as the film was finished waaay before the hijackings, but they are there so I just thought I'd warn y'all in case any of you wanted to see it. Personally, it really didn't bother me too much or ruin the tone of the film, but I know there are probably people more sensitive to the situation than me who might not find the comments funny.
h_wood
First loser of Wacky Race Mach II
I love Emoticons :P
"Uh Oh! I just remembered I have massive internal bleeding!"
Alien From LA
#617
o/` Do- de do- de...o/` What th--?!?
Date: 09/21/2001
From: PharaohMobius
[PM walks into MSTBlanca to find it trashed. Lita and Rimmer are cackling wickedly amongst themselves as they look at the pictures they found, and the weirdness in PM's office. Mickey and h_wood are helpng themselves to the booze, and TDO is sitting in the corner, playing with his action figures.]
[PM] What the Sam Scratch is going on here?
[Rimmer] We're trashing this joint!
[Lita] Yeah! You called Rimsey a slut and me fat, so we decided to riot!
[PM] Wait a minute. You're not talking about my "Introductions" reply from the other day, are you?
[Rimmer and Lita] YES WE ARE!!!
[PM] Then I think I should point out that the dialogue I scripted for that was partially inspired by actual dialogue you two had during the Wacky Race. I was just trying to make it authentic sounding.
[Lita] So she really *did* call me fat!
[Rimmer] Well, YOU called me a slut!
[Lita] SLUT!
[Rimmer] FATTY FATTY TWO-BY-FOUR!
[Lita] Wait a minute. This isn't getting us anywhere. Don't forget, even if we really did say those things about each other, PM didn't have to repeat it!
[Rimmer] Yeah! PM, you suck! And we're gonna get even with you, bucko!
[Lita] Yeah! We've got *very* naughty nekkid pictures of you, my fine Egyptian friend!
[Rimmer] And we took pictures of your secret office! You've got a lot of weird stuff in there, you perv!
[PM] Whoah, wait a minute. What kind of nekkid pictures do you have of me?
[Lita holds up some pictures.] SEE!!!
[PM looks at the pix for a moment, and then laughs.]
[Lita and Rimmer] What's so funny?!?
[PM] Take another look at those pictures.
[Rimmer] What? It's a nasty picture of you with som-- Oh, wait. That's not you, is it?
[Lita] Let me see! Hey, that doesn't look anything like Mobius at all! Isn't that...
[Rimmer] BILL CLINTON?!?
[Lita] But what's he doing wearing an Egyptian headdress?
[PM] Those are boxer shorts, I believe.
[Lita and Rimmer] EEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!!
[Rimmer] Why do you have nekkid pictures of Bill Clinton?
[Lita] And why do you have all those TVs and videotapes and pictures of people anyway?
[PM] It's all part of my blackmail operation. I'm a master criminal, don't forget. Blackmail's a good chunk of my income.
[Lita] Okay, I can buy that. But what's the deal with your office?
[Rimmer] Yeah, you have some freaky shiznit back there.
[They begin to walk back to the secret office.]
[PM] What do you mean? There's nothing out of the ordinary in my-- GOOD LORD!!!! What the hell happened here?!?
[Sam] I think I can explain that, Big Daddy.
[All turn around to see Sam Casey and Buffalo standing behind them.]
[PM] Sam?!? Buffalo?!? You guys are responsible for all this?
[Buffalo] Yeah, man.
[PM] But WHY?!?
[Sam] 'Cause you were a jerk and stranded us when you lost the Wacky Race! We had to get ya back somehow!
[Rick walks in, carrying a huge stack of glossy color poster prints.]
[Rick] Hell-O girls, I'm baaack! I-- [Sees PM] Aw hell.
[PM] Rick! What are you doing?
[Rick] Making copies. But they made me! They were holding me hostage, boss!
[PM] So when they sent you out, UNGUARDED, to make copies of what you believed were naughty photos of me, you DIDN'T go and get help, but rather made the copies and brought them back?
[Rick] Yeah, that about sums it up.
[PM, tearfully.] I try. I really do. I try to make a few little jokes, run a happy little claymation bar with goofy, idiot sidekicks out of MSTed movies, and be a good and friendly Pulp Villain. And when I come back after two days of not being able to log onto the internet (Thanks a LOT, Nimda virus!), I find my bar trashed, my nonexistent glass case of pornography broken into, and my innocent, harmless blackmail operation exposed and broken up. I just wanna know something: Can't we all just get along?!?
[All are awkwardly and ashamedly silent for a moment.]
[All, simultaneously.] NO!!!
[PM, brightening.] Oh. All right then. Let the riot continue! [PM pulls out a seltzer bottle and squirts everyone thoroughly, creating a sort of wet T-shirt effect on Lita and Rimmer. He then hoots like Daffy Duck, pulls out a switchblade clown mallet, and starts busting up the bar some more.]
[Rimmer] Ummm... so he's rioting in his own bar?
[Lita] Well, he *is* mad...
[Rick] Besides, the whole thing's made out of Gumby clay, anyway. It'll all be back together again in a day or so, sweetheart.
[Buffalo] WHAAAOOOOOO!!1!!! HEE-YAHOOOOOOEEEEE!!!! [Joins in the rioting process.]
[Everyone begins to riot, busting up the glass, wood panels, formica... well, to put it succinctly, everything but the booze and the sound machine, which begins to play "West End Riot" by the Living End. And they have a good time doing it, too.]
The mad Pharaoh Mobius
Owner, Operator, and Demolisher of MSTBlanca
broken Sarcophagus!
#618
That was odd.
Date: 09/21/2001
From: A_Judas_Rimmer
I was sure those were nekkid pictures of Phafafafharie. I'm even more disturbed about the similarities PM has to Bill Clinton to make me mistake the two. PM looks like a an icky Bill Clinton in a funny looking Pharaoh costume.
Or maybe I need my eyes checked.
Anyway his introduction post said I was stealing Evil Mike and that made Lita and everyone else all mad- as mad as he is. So he started this and he shall pay! PAY! PAY! PAY!
I don't know how yet but surely Lita and I can come up with something.
#619
Continuing the rioting...
Date: 09/21/2001
From: Carmelita9000
Rimmer: <kicking holes in the walls> Boy. It's really interesting how PM was able to explain away all that stuff we found. Now we have no good reason to be revolted by his obviously deviant behavior.
Lita: <stealing various semi-priceless artifacts that are decorating the bar> Sure. But I'm still wondering about one thing.
Rimmer: What's that?
Lita: He still has that anteater heart under his floor. Sam and Buffalo couldn't have put it there. Rick even knew about it, and Rick wouldn't lie.
Rimmer: Hey, you're right! And I never thought he looked even a little bit like Bill Clinton until he mentioned it a few minutes ago...
Lita: Is Bill Clinton Egyptian?
<Lita and Rimmer pause in their destruction to cast suspicious glances over at PM, who seems to be setting fire to his own secret room. A phone rings.>
Rick: Lita! Evil Mike is on the phone for you.
Lita: Oh! I'd better get that! Back in a minute!
<Lita goes and answers the phone. Everybody else continues to participate in various riot-related activities. Lita talks for a few minutes, then gives a small yelp of surprise. She rushes over to a nearby window, glances outside, and yelps again, only louder. She curses into the phone, and starts to hang up. She pauses for a moment, picks it back up, says "Thanks for the warning, EM," then hangs up.>
Lita: Ahem! Everybody?
<People continue to riot>
Lita: You guys! This is important! I know you're all enjoying all this destruction...
<Everybody cheers loudly and continues to riot>
Lita: But we all really need to evacuate the building. Um... right now.
<Rimmer and PM stop breaking things and walk over to Lita.>
PM: What's the problem?
<Lita nods toward the window. Rimmer goes and looks outside, and lets out a shriek.>
PM: What is it?
Rimmer: Hundreds of small animals...
PM: So?
Rimmer: They all have explosives strapped to them.
Lita: Apparently that was what Evil Mike was training them for. Not to help old ladies across the street, but to blow up any building he doesn't happen to like. He said he was disappointed that he didn't get to come help us destroy this place, so...
Rimmer: Less talk, more rushing for the exits before everybody else finds out what's going on. We'll finish avenging our good names later!
Lita: Right!
<Lita, Rimmer, and PM run straight for the emergency exit.>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice-Prez of the I Hate Hamburglar Club
Winner of the Coveted Forrester Cup
Is too beautiful to die
Next up - the Aftermath
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